Biggest woman problems to date..?

Okay, that's it. I have had it up to my eyebrows with women. I'm a nice guy even if I may be an overweight man with not-so-good credit. Now before you feminists start ragging on me, hear me out here. No, I wasn't rejected by some hot woman - on the other hand, I just got laid the other day. No, she didn't cut my balls off or dump a brown log during intercourse. As you can see from this picture: http://i42.tinypic.com/28b880l.jpg I am a very neat man.





Here goes nothing: I often patron a local Starbucks near my workplace after 5pm armed with my laptop to read CNN while sipping French Vanilla. Until recently, I never considered any of the other regulars who sit at the tables and couches near me. That all changed on the second of April when another regular (female) came up to my table and asked if she could sit near me. On a more off-topic note, I opened my umbrella at work and got showered in confetti the day before that day. It was funny until I got stuck cleaning it up. Back on topic: I was reading a story about how an MMO led to a baby's death in South Korea when I looked up to see a woman I could only describe as ravishing: she had Mediterranean features, smooth and tanned skin, gray eyes, full pouty lips and a body to die for. Of course I said yes: I had no idea that she would change my life forever.





We talked extensively about the economy, celebrities and for some strange reason, the topic veered off into pit bull breeds. It must have seemed strange to the other patrons: a fat ugly guy talking to a slim goddess. She didn't come off as geeky or desperate: on the other hand, there were three guys checking her out as we left later on. What lured me in besides her looks was her personality: she wasn't self-deprecating in her speech nor was she rambling about something stupid, like most women these days. Heck, she didn't even look disgusted when I finished off five bear claws. I also noticed that she seemed overly charming, lighthearted and seemed a bit forward. I should have taken the hint then and there, but hey: I'm a desperate loser, right?





We arrived at her place: a small house that was 30 minutes from my condo. When I entered I noticed she was neat, but had food everywhere. She had a bookshelf full of stuff written by Shakespeare. She didn't drag me to the bedroom, but I felt like she insisted on me with the tone and words she used. 'She didn't need to', I thought, so I went in. Long story short, I was now on the bed with the oddest and yet the most fascinating woman I had ever met. To be honest, the foreplay wasn't that great, because it felt like she wasn't really into it. She finally drags it for about another half-minute and then she finally talks. The minute she opened her mouth during sex, everything went downhill. She tells me that she wants to try something ';different'; - I'm thinking, ';Whatever will help her get into it, I guess.';





Turns out, ';different'; turns out to be her gyrating on top of me, feeding me everything from powdered doughnuts to bananna cream pie - on her bed, naked. There I am getting pastries swiftly shoved into my fat pie hole, worrying about crumbs on the bedsheets and honey glaze and frosting in my hair. I can only describe this experience as revolting and dehumanizing: I had never felt so low in my life, besides that time I jerked it to a 40 year old woman on a home cooking show, because there was no porn in the house and my TV watching experience was heavily censored. I even tried to protest at one point, but she just kept shoving them in and I could barely breathe. After five more minutes of this, I pushed her off as hard as I could, put on my clothes, cleaned my face with napkins from the kitchen and drove off. When I finally got home, I collapsed on the floor and threw up all over the carpet. After dabbing the carpet with some wet soapy towels, I sat on my couch wondering why I couldn't attract a normal woman who respected me because I was a nice person, not because the only thing she saw was a fleshy, sweaty bag of lard that happened to get her off. I think a long time ago, I told myself that I wanted this: ';If only there were hot women who liked fat guys';, I joked to myself. Now that I got it, my self esteem and my dignity have reached new levels of low that I never thought possible, bringing with it an insatiable anger and a feeling of hopelessness and frustration. The good news is: at least I know I have standards now. So I decided instead to accept the facts and get help from the Internet.





So, my question to you is: Do you know any cheap RealDolls out there? Somewhere in the area of less than $5,000? I can't afford the $11,000 ones and the inflatable ones look like something that came out of a horror film. I'm willing to buy used, if you like.Biggest woman problems to date..?
you need to calm down... look at the problem, you said ';If only there were hot women who liked fat guys';... why sshe has to be ';hot';?... you are doing the same with girls that maybe are not ''hot'' as the bloody publicity say...





I thought I was a pretty girl, but nobody used to date me because I'm not the dam skinny girl, I'm a real woman with curves and little over weight... sometime I wonder ';is there any guy who like me even if I'm not perfect?'; and then years later I thought ';wtf I am pretty, so if they don't want to see it to hell with them... someone will have a heart for me';





and lucky me--- I found himBiggest woman problems to date..?
TOOOO LONG get a friend and ask them PL0X
short it up i don't read fast ok
Your ';standards,'; sound lower than what you had claim to feel by this woman..Go take a cold shower or something and save your money.
Good god, that's a horrible experience! I don't know anything about Sex Dolls though, sorry.
Dude, your just hiding behind the fact that your fat. Get fit then, don't live in denial. The fact of the matter is that she wanted you for your body, just like most men only want women for their bodies. Your only contributing to your own pity by saying that you want a hot girl who likes fat guys.





By the way, I like the way you write. You could be a potential author.
i hope this is a joke.





if it's not: just get in shape and groom yourself. you look a little shaggy.





just being real, dog.





you're on the verge. you have a good job and free time obviously, that's huge.





for a systematic way to get good women to choose from look up ';rules of the game'; by neil strauss if you get it, focus on the white book - the black one is freaky. might want to get ';mystery method'; too. it'll give you an insight. this has to be a joke - blowup doll.
wow this is way to long i was reading it and gave up just sum up what you wrote and ask again in a paragraph or two.
Better luck next time.Try Dunkin'Donuts.Starbucks is too frufru.